My Dear Wormwood

Today has been a day of highs and lows for me. I guess that is just the way things are in all our lives, though. A series of events that either leave us in one position or the other.
I recently read C S Lewis's "The Screwtape Letters", and it has given me a new way of looking at the 'down' parts of my day.
I'll start by sharing the 'up' side. I had a great productive day at the office, working on creating Sunday School Lessons for the coming weeks, looking at the services I had coming up, and in general, basking in the glow of a church coming to life.
My main focus for today was to get myself registered for school. I needed some help, and the parish priest was more than willing to help me. Truth be told, I'm not sure which one of us was more excited about the prospect of my actually registering. (I am so very greatful for all the encouragement and do realize how blessed I am!!)
With all the bugs removed from the system, it took little over an hour to completely register for all 10 of my classes and to print out a book list (as it was available).
I can't begin to explain the great 'high' it was to feel like I was finally officially a student again, and I was feeling prepared to take on whatever was thrown in my path, after all, God has been providing throughout the whole journey to this point, there was no reason to think He wouldn't continue.
This all came to a startling end when I had a horrible feeling of guilt wash over me.
What in the world was I doing going back to school when I have 3 young children? My daughter, being only 11, and the oldest, was who I was thinking of. The guilt of leaving her to care for her younger brothers, and to leave them all to do this was so overwhelming, it was impossible to hold back a wave of tears.
Fortunately, God was there, even in my doubt, as this all occured with my ever supportive hubby sitting next to me. Although he (Mike) was laughing at me, in his own way, he was lending me the support and encouragement I needed at that moment.
So what does Screwtape have to do with all this? Reflecting this evening on this day of great leaps forward, contrasted with the episode of guilt, I couldn't help but think about how Uncle Screwtape would be encouraging Wormwood to play on that guilt, and ever widen that gap of doubt. I could just hear his advice to his nephew, encouraging Wormwood to play with those feelings, to find the small crack and grasp a hold and force it further open. How fortunate for me, my creator had other plans!
As I wind down for the night, I am aware of all of todays blessings and I'm excited to see what blessings tomorrow will bring.

Welcome to the Road

Thanks so much for joining me on my journey. I have had so many people ask me, how do you go from mom to seminary student? How did this happen? So, I hope that by blogging, I can share how this has all come about and how life changes for me through my years at seminary. Let's hit the road!